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Don't Even Know I am Lying
Below are the 10 most recent journal entries.
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2006.02.13 19.29
i have a new lj.
its called secret_getdown
im inviting you to come read it.
but dont tell me you are.
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2006.02.12 18.49
its not worth it
They say shit like this happens to everyone. No it doesnt. What about the smart kids? The ones that have good friends, a good family with good money. What about those that are socially inept? The ones that only know what drugs are from health class or have maybe had a little taste of champagn and hated it? This deffinately doesnt happen to everyone. Id have to say I have preety awesome friends. They are fun to be around, always something interesting going on. Ok, so we've learved about how bad drinking is, and how drugs are an instant killer, and it's not that we dont care, it's more of a choice. Maybe it because we're so unhappy we want those once in a life time events to happen to us. Not particularly saying that we want to die, because most of us may consider it may thinkof it, but dont necessarily would like to. And those that do always want to go the quickest way. Well that doesnt make sense now does it? Death is about pain, and if you WANT to die you should accept the pain that comes with it, because you wont get off so lucky.To me it seems that the people who feel the most pain are the one's who don't want to let go. They don't want to die, just yet. We take these drugs, drink this alcohol to escape the pain. not considering the fact it just brings more. It's just good clean fun, right? until something goes wrong. I mean it just had to, we're basically asking for it. It may not seem like a big deal until its the only thing keeping you alive. The only thing you want. Until its the only thing that you truely care about.SOme people call this additiction.
To us its not in the sense you cant stop doing, but the in the sense that you wont. WE believe so much that things will get better that our minds react to whatever we put in ourselves making everything good.
NOw she was just being careless. When we get drunk usually its planned where we're going to go. how we're going to get there afterwards so nothing could possibly go wrong. Ever. I have to truely say that I believe they made her do it. She would have been smarter about it they hadnt encouraged her so much. I know they did. They do it all the time so for them this was no big deal. They dont know she's in the hospital. They dont know the medication she was on reacted to the alcohol. She was also on anti-depression medication. have to say I took one myself and they're not half bad. All of this is artificial happiness and to tell you the truth its completely lame. We are so afriad to be happy and we intoxicate ourselves with anything we can find to get there. Society today is pushing so much pressure on todays generations must people half expect us to OD or get poisoned, unintentionaly of course. Its sad really. I mean here I am inflicting as much pain as I possibly could on myself because I cant deal with this anymore. I can't deal with the fact Kyle "loves" me. I cant do it. I cant sit here and watch Michele cut herself, just because she can. Because her family decides to pas sher around once in a while, because they believe there is something "wrong" with her. I cant watch Melanie be so dependent on Josh because he's the only place she actually feels wanted. I cant deal with the over exagerated weightloss of Brian and his struggles to overcome an eating disorder and a homophobic family. I cant listen to Jen's raps because she feels no one loves her and the one person that loves her most isnt allowed to. I cant watch Ryan grieve over Guin anymore while she chases after new guys because her Dad ignores her and feel completely lost. And i deffinately cannot deal with Lindsey's abusive boyfriends, pregnant scares, sex stories, cutting and suicide notes. No matter how hard anyone says they want to help, I know they never could. I cant watch all these people that I love to much sufer from things that happen to people everyday. All over the world. Other peopel are goign through things much worse but we just can't keep ourminds off ourselves. When did we get so selfish? When did we stop caring.
I am so sorry.
Mood:  frustrated
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2006.01.31 15.41
goodbye livejournal.
Mood:  amused
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2006.01.17 16.10
sHES trash
You know what I hate? How you can everything in one second and then in the next you can lose it like that. I dont understand how one little comment can make me and kyle start screaming at eachother, i mean this just doesnt happen to normal people does it? I love how i tell him hes pretty much the one thing i care about more than anything else and then he goes and tells me im shit to him.
SuffocateMyMind4: i love how
SuffocateMyMind4: you supposedly care so much about me, and you don't mean shit to me
whateveri dont know why i waste my time with fucking boys who treat me like SHIT.
i dont even know.
i basically hate like everything,
i mean like, i basically have no point in life at all.
FUCK YOU KYLE.
FUCK ALL OF YOU.
FUCK
FUCK
FUCK
FUCK
ALL OF YOU
Mood:  distressed
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2005.12.22 14.12
Today fucking sucked. I fucking hate like everyone right now. James should just fucking go out with colleen of stop staying shit about her that I can see! Becky should go die in a hole. She ate my dinos head and im fucking pissed. Jeremy is a fuckin douche and i hope he dies. fuck everyone right now i dont even care.
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2005.12.16 07.09
Find Low Pairs
so let me get this straight
say now you loved me all along?
what made you hesitate
to tell me with words what you really feel
i can see it in your eyes you mean all of what you say
i remember so long ago, see i felt that same way
now we both have separate lives and lovers (and lovers)
insignificantly enough we both have significant others
only time will tell
time will turn and tell
we are who we were when
could've been lovers but at least you're still my day late friend
we are who
we are who we were when
who knew what we know now
could've been more but at least you're still my day late friend
we are who
we are who we were when
but thoughts they change and times they rearrange i don't know who you are anymore
loves come and go and this i know i'm not who you recall anymore
but i must confess you're so much more then i remember
can't help but entertain these thoughts
thoughts of us together
we are who we were when
could've been lovers but at least you're still my day late friend
we are who
we are who we were when
who knew what we know now
could've been more but at least you're still my day late friend
we are who
we are who we were when
my day late friend
so let me get this straight
all these years and you were no where to be found
and now you want me for your own
but you're a day late and my love, she's still renowned
we are who we were when
could've been lovers but at least you're still my day late friend
we are who
we are who we were when
who knew what we know now
could've been more but at least you're still my day late friend
we are who
we are who we were when
Mood:  contemplative
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2005.12.06 16.22
Now Playing...
As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.
Mood:  confused
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brieface's journal
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